Elul Tools ~ 19 Elul 5781

  

 Elul Tools   

Building a Strong Foundation 

for the Days of Awe

Shofar Blast 

(press the arrow below)

Today's Elul Chai-Ku:

The gates are open.
With open hearts, we turn to you.
We strayed. Forgive us.

19 Elul—The Three T's: 
Teshuvah, Tzedakah, Tefillah

Jewish tradition teaches that during Elul, and especially the few days before Rosh Hashanah, the gates of heavens are wide open. Our acts of Teshuvah (return), Tzedakah (acts of charity and kindness) and Tefillah (prayer) are especially potent. God is essentially “all ears” at this special time. This is a brilliant Jewish model for renewal and redemption. If we wish to calibrate ourselves to reach our highest potential, the Jewish community collectively takes this annual time to push each other forward. The more of ourselves we pour into this process during Elul, the more we will get out of it during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. To reap a good harvest, tend the garden. We are now in a serious phase of garden tending. We are setting the intention now for a sweet and prosperous new year.

From the beginning of Elul until Yom Kippur (a 40 day window), we have the opportunity to reflect and consider our actions over the year. We also have the opportunity to make amends with those we have hurt or neglected. By the time we reach Yom Kippur we should have taken care of our misdeeds toward others and ourselves. However, Yom Kippur (literally translated as Day of Atonement) is when we stand before God and take responsibility for all our transgressions. We repent to the source directly and ask forgiveness. Tradition teaches that on Yom Kippur the image of God is that of judge. Time to come clean. Have we done enough in the way or repair, repentance, and return? Have we tipped the balance? How will the verdict play out? Again, these are metaphors to inspire us to become better people, to improve the world.



Over the past couple of weeks we have thought a lot about Teshuvah and Tzedakah. Today’s focus for the Jewish recipe for renewal is the the third ingredient: Tefillah (Hebrew for prayer). As we approach Rosh Hashanah it is customary to recite selichot, or penitential prayers. This is essentially a special prayer asking God’s forgiveness for transgressions and misdeeds. As we have already learned, tzedakah is a way to repair damage for mistakes made. But as Yom Kippur approaches, we begin to contemplate the idea of repentance and seeking forgiveness. Now is a good time to find pockets of time to offer prayers or meditations focusing on forgiveness from God. Remember to find images and interpretations of God that are comfortable for you.

It’s sort of like apologizing to a friend. First you make amends by apologizing and accepting responsibility for wrong doing. Perhaps you bring a gift or peace offering to show your sincerity (this would be the tzedakah). Then comes a critical piece in the repair process. You must be humble enough to ask for forgiveness. It’s not enough to just say sorry and bring a flower. Asking forgiveness shows genuine attempt toward change.  

Yom Kippur services include special prayers known as the Vidui (confessional prayers). These prayers are comprised of the Ashmanu (meaning “We have sinned”) and the Al Chet (meaning “For the sin of...) These prayers are recited in the plural showing we are a community. We all have made mistakes. We all want to learn from them and grow. Another beautiful interpretation of the collective nature of the confessional prayers is put forth by Rabbi Isaac Luria, “All the children of Israel are considered a single body, and each person is a limb of that body. Each jew confesses to the sins of the whole body.”

The list of sins from the Al Chet prayer is impressive, comprehensive, and powerful. It is both humbling and unifying. Humans are capable of so much wrong doing, so much hurt. We all stray from the path. All of us err. All of us engage in insensitivities, acts of negligence. But Yom Kippur gives us the opportunity to push the reset button.

Today’s Elul Tool:  Find some time in this week preceding Rosh Hashanah to seek forgiveness from God through prayer, silent meditation, serious contemplation. Come up with a Tefillah (prayer or meditation) that resonates with you, that incorporates the nature of your transgressions and seeks forgiveness. Some prefer to do this at night, when it is dark and quiet. This enhances the serious, introspective nature of the work. Also, familiarize yourself with the very powerful Al Chet prayer. Here are three different versions: 

The first is from Aish.com and is the traditional Al Chet prayer with great explanation. You can view it here.

The second is from Tikkun.org, reprinted by myjewishlearning.com This version is a modern, alternative interpretation of the ancient prayer.  You can check it out here.

The third is from kveller.com and is a collective confession for parents regarding sins committed against our children (by us!) and you can view it here. 

Psalm 27

It is customary to read Psalm 27 twice daily during Elul.

Here is an online version of Psalm 27 for easy access. 

For Families and Kids!

Junior Tool Box:



Teach your children about the three T’s for the High Holidays:






Teshuvah (return)

Tzedakah (loving acts of kindness and charity)

Tefillah (prayer) 



These are the three main ingredients for the Days of Awe.




For Teshuvah discuss the shofar. The shofar is used to wake us up and remind us to come back to ourselves, to God. If you have a shofar practice the different blasts. Or, your children can hold their fists up to their mouths like a shofar and make the sound of each note:

Tekiyah = one long blast
Shevarim = three medium blasts
Teruah = nine stacatto blasts. 
Tekiyah Gedolah = one very long, final blast

For Tzedakah, make a tzedakah box if you haven’t done so already. Collect money to help others. You can also describe tzedakah as acts of loving kindness in general. This is the time of year to give of ourselves in loving ways.








For Tefillah make some time in the evening before bed to talk silently with God about mistakes we made. Part of these special prayers and mediations should include asking for forgiveness (Selichot). Role model this for your children.

Elul Tools ~ 18 Elul 5781

  Elul Tools 

Building a Strong Foundation 

for the Days of Awe

Shofar Blast 

(press the arrow below)

Today's Elul Chai-Ku:

Can amends be made

for our fouling the cosmic nest?

Tzedakah. Give love.

18 Elul - Repairing the "Un-Repairable?"

The word for sin in Hebrew is Chet. However, there is no true equivalent in meaning. In Hebrew, the word Chet refers to archery and means “missing the mark.” It’s not so much about being bad or evil, but more about being distracted or pulled off task.

In Judaism there are essentially three types of sins: sinning against another person, sinning against ourselves, and sinning against God. When we hurt others or ourselves, we can make amends directly. However, sins against God are trickier. Such transgressions include violations of ritual law (i.e. not observing Shabbat), sins of unconsciousness or omission (i.e. not showing gratitude for our lives and all that we have, looking the other way when a stranger needs help), and behaviors that disrupt the larger environments in which we live (i.e. consuming more of the earth’s resources than we actually need).

How do we even begin to deal with making amends

for such things? Yes we engaged in Leshon Hara (evil speech and gossip) throughout the past year, but we can’t possibly unsay all the hurtful things that spilled from our lips. Of course we used more water, petroleum, paper, food, plastic than we needed, but how do we make amends for that? Sure, we can vow to do better, but that doesn't fix what is done.

How do we repair what has already been seemingly irreparably destroyed, irretrievably consumed? Yes we ignored people in need, larger issues that needed our attention. But realistically there is only so much we can do in a day! No, we did not thank God regularly for our lives, for the Earth, for access to information, for transportation, for heat in our homes, for running water, for abundant food supplies, for books...Not only did we not give thanks as often as we should have, we probably kvetched about a lot. How are we to atone for all the things we mindlessly consumed, unconsciously disrupted, conveniently avoided? What is the process for making amends with God?

Jewish tradition responds to this question with Tzedakah, the Hebrew word for justice, but usually understood as acts of charity and kindness. During Elul it is traditional to give something back. For some this could be a monetary donation to a meaningful cause. For others, it could be selfless acts of love and kindness (i.e. visiting the sick or elderly, volunteering in your community). Some give back by performing tangible acts of Tikkun Olam (repairing the world) such as taking additional care of the environment, standing up for the marginalized and oppressed.

This tzedakah we give in preparation for the Days of Awe should be generous and beyond our comfort zone. It is not enough to do and give at at our usual level. Our work is to make amends to God by fixing some small piece of the world that would have otherwise been left unattended. Recall the image of the scale. In order to balance the thousands of transgressions against God we committed throughout the year, we offer a gift. This calibrates our annual scale, brings things into alignment. Perhaps we might even tip the balance ever so slightly in the positive, toward righteousness. It may be easier to to conceptualize in karmic terms. We accrued lots of bad karma in the past year through our selfishness and disregard. In order to bring the karmic energy into harmony, we should go out of our way to be mensches during Elul and the Days of Awe. Maybe even longer?

Today’s Elul Tool:  Make amends to God, to the universe, by giving some form of tzedakah. Decide if you want to give money or time. Remember to stretch as far as you can. It’s okay if it’s uncomfortable. If you are making a donation, think about giving more than you normally would by forgoing something else. If you are giving your time and energy, you may need to give up some other activity or event to do it. It’s time to give back. If it feels overwhelming and frustrating to add “one more thing,” remember all that we are given everyday without even thinking about it. Give generously and liberally!

Psalm 27

It is customary to read Psalm 27 twice daily during Elul.

Here is an online version of Psalm 27 for easy access. 

For Families and Kids!

Junior Tool Box:

Discuss the three types of sin in Judaism. Frame this as three ways we can miss the mark (hurting others, hurting ourselves, hurting God). Help your children understand what kinds of things hurt God, hurt the world.

Discuss the concept of Jewish sin meaning that we miss the mark. The High Holidays helps us remember how we have missed the mark in the past year.

Make an Elul tzedakah box. Collect money (change, loose coins, even occasional bills) during Elul and decide where you want to give your tzedakah. Talk about how this is a gift for God to show we are sorry for our mistakes.

Listen to the tzedakah songs in the audiofile below:

Elul Tools ~ 17 Elul 5781

 

Elul Tools 

Building a Strong Foundation 

for the Days of Awe

Shofar Blast 

(press the arrow below)

Today's Elul Chai-Ku:

I know I was wrong.
I caused you pain. I'm so sorry.
Will you forgive me?

.

17 Elul—Mending Fences

On Yom Kippur, we stand before God. Along with our entire Jewish community we ask to be forgiven for our transgressions over the past year. However, according to Jewish tradition, our misdeeds cannot be forgiven unless we genuinely feel remorse and make authentic efforts to repair the damage. Fixing our mistakes in the world also repairs our souls, indeed the world as a whole. 

This is the process of Teshuvah. Returning to ourselves.  Returning to God. What we do now, during Elul and the Days of Awe, will demonstrate our sincerity for improving our lives, becoming better versions of ourselves. Isn’t this in essence the renewal and return we are seeking? Striving for the “Finest Me I can Be?”

The image of God during the Days of Awe is that of Judge. We refer to God as Avinu Malkenu, Our father, Our King. We confess our sins as a community with God listening intently. Depending on the sincerity of our prayers and the quality of our Teshuvah (process of repair and return), we will be inscribed for another year in the Book of Life.

Some are put off by these images. Keep in mind that these ideas and images of God can serve as powerful metaphors to inspire and propel us. Of course we all want to be inscribed in the Book of Life. But what does that actually mean to us? Perhaps it means we want to stay as close as possible to our authentic selves in the year to come. Maybe the idea of not straying as far off the path works for others. If the language and metaphor of “being forgiven by God and inscribed in the Book” is uncomfortable for you, think of it more as wiping your slate clean. In order to start this year with zero baggage, you have to assess shortcomings and mistakes and then fix them. This wipes the board, neutralizes the transgressions, balances the scales, gets the train back on track. Whatever metaphor of Teshuvah works for you, go with it. 

Today’s Elul Tool: Yesterday’s task was to write a list of people whom you have hurt. Look at your list and start mending fences.  Reach out to at least one person today and take responsibility for your mistakes. If you’re in the mood to keep the repair process going, do it. But for today make amends to at least one person. As difficult as it is, try to cover the following:  admit you were wrong, apologize for the offense, acknowledge that your behavior caused pain, vow to make whatever adjustments necessary to not inflict the same pain again. Do not explain or rationalize why you made the offense. Come from a place of complete responsibility, even if you feel this person owes you an apology as well!

Psalm 27

It is customary to read Psalm 27 twice daily during Elul.

Here is an online version of Psalm 27 for easy access. 

For Families and Kids!

Junior Tool Box: Our children do not carry as much baggage as we do. They have not accumulated much in the way of defense mechanisms. As such, the process of making amends often comes quite easily for them, especially very young children. Using the metaphor of “mending fences” discuss the amends making process with your children. Impart the idea that it’s a good habit to fix things when they are broken. Children will be able to relate to the simplicity of repair and cleaning up as it relates to relationships as well. It’s just something that we do!

For younger children, the book Today is the Birthday of the World (by Linda Keller) is perfect for indirectly introducing the concept of Teshuvah. In the book, God’s primary concern for the past year is that we all (animals included) work toward becoming the “Finest Me I can Be.”

For older children The Hardest Word (by Jacqueline Jules) is a great book about making amends. The author stresses that while the process of apologizing and mending relationships is difficult, it is very important.

Below are some links to Rosh Hashanah YOUTUBE music videos. The videos are take-offs from pop music songs. They are upbeat and have inspiring images. They are great for creating excitement about the Jewish New Year coming! Remind your children that the new year is less than two weeks away. Preview the videos first to make sure they are appropriate for your children. Sometimes we learn best through performance art!

Dip Your Apple

Rosh Hashanah Rock Anthem

Get Clarity

What Makes Rosh Hashanah Beautiful

I Gotta Love You Rosh Hashanah

Teach your children to say and to write “Shanah Tovah” in Hebrew. This is the traditional greeting for Rosh Hashanah, meaning "Happy New Year." The Hebrew is below and reads right to left.

The Junior Tool Box activities from yesterday (Elul Day 17) are meaty enough to extend through this week as well. Revisit if you feel your children are in the Elul activity frame of mind!

Elul Tools ~ 16 Elul 5781

 Elul Tools 

Building a Strong Foundation 

for the Days of Awe

Shofar Blast 

(press the arrow below)

Today's Elul Chai-Ku:

Repairing the rift...
better than no rift at all.
We are closer now.

16 Elul—Clean Up Time!

Teshuvah is more than just an introspective review of the past year. While this is a critical component for getting ourselves back on track, we must ALSO work to tidy up messes made along the way. Judaism emphasizes deed over creed. What we think, or think about, pales in comparison to our actions in the world. So now that we have carefully considered our conduct over the past year, we move toward rectifying mistakes.

In our relationships with people, this means directly acknowledging our errors to hurt parties, expressing our remorse, and asking for forgiveness. This is not an easy process. Of course it’s much easier to mull things over privately and sweep them into a far away corner of our mind. But our Sages ask us to do more. This DOING is what will begin to tip that scale of our deeds back to middle, and hopefully beyond.

Reb Zalman, in referring to Hasidic teaching explains:

 “God is more angry that we don’t take advantage of Teshuvah than over the sin itself. There is such a wonderful way to turn back and to make amends and clear things up. The fact that we leave that and don’t pick it up is a worse sin than the sin itself.” 

Perhaps we could say that we actually reach a more elevated place when we mess up and then fix it, than if we never messed up in the first place. Why?Because we have grown and learned more by throwing ourselves head first into the messiness of life. All of us are in a constant state of growing and becoming better people, whether we are 5 or 105. There is no magical age where we have perfected the art of being human. It’s ongoing trial and error. Additionally, the repair process creates and strengthens trust and intimacy. The key, as Reb Zalman points out, is to do the necessary repair when we fail. The sin is not the mistake, but failing to correct it.

Today’s Elul Tool:  Recall the folks you considered during our vigorous Chesbon Hanefesh (Jewish soul search) over the past two weeks. This includes close family and friends as well as extended family and acquaintances. Are there any major rifts that need healing? Are there day after day emotional injuries that need attention? For today, simply make a list of the people with whom repair is necessary. This includes minor aggravations to major blow-outs. Just a list. However this should be an actual list, not a mental exercise. You’ve done the reflecting, now start taking action. Put pen to paper and make a list.

Psalm 27

It is customary to read Psalm 27 twice daily during Elul.

Here is an online version of Psalm 27 for easy access. 

For Families and Kids!

Junior Tool Box: The High Holidays give families the opportunity to talk about taking responsibility for our actions. When we make mistakes or hurt others, we should work quickly to repair the damages. If we “forgot” or “overlooked” some of these errors over the past year, we have a the month of Elul to do a big “clean up.” Just like there are clean up days for parks and beaches, people need big clean up events to pick up the straggling pieces of emotional garbage we may have left behind.

Sometimes it’s difficult for kids to recall things they are sorry for in the past when simply asked. Again, that’s why Elul is so nice in that it gives us time to think things over. Create a family “I’m Sorry Banner” and post somewhere prominent in your home. As things come up, write them on the banner. It’s a nice visual to see during Elul. It keeps the momentum of Teshuvah going!

Have an “apology” meeting in the family. Everyone take turns apologizing for things they have done in the past year that hurt other people in the family. It’s great to have parents role model by saying what they are sorry for. It shows children that grown ups make mistakes too and it’s a normal/healthy exercise to take responsibility. For example, “I’m sorry I get impatient when we are late. I will try to be more calm this year when we are behind schedule.”

Based on the apologies above, make a list of individual and family goals for improved behavior in the year ahead. Post somewhere in your home for regular reminders during the year.

Very young children really don’t have much to apologize for. Instead focus on goals and areas for growth and added family responsibility in the new year. For example, “This year we’ll work on you putting your clothes in the hamper all by yourself.” Make a list and post in your home.

A great book for older children on the subject of Teshuvah is Gershon’s Monsters by Eric Kimmel. It discusses the importance of not only reflecting on our errors but also experiencing remorse, seeking forgiveness, and making repairs. Gershon's Monsters also emphasizes that ignoring the repair process is counter-productive and ultimately creates problems in our lives.

Listen to, learn, and then sing “Let's Be Friends” (audiolink below).

Elul Tools ~ 15 Elul 5781

  

Elul Tools

Building a Strong 
Foundation for the 
Days of Awe

Shofar Blast

(press the arrow below)

Today's Elul Chai-Ku:

Yes, I've missed the mark.
And I've also hit the bulls eye.
Keep my aim steady.

.

16 Elul - Did You Hit Your Target?

The shofar, sounded during Elul, alerts us that Rosh Hashanah is just around the corner. It’s time to wake up and get ready. But how do we get ready? One of the traditional ways is through some pretty serious self-examination. If you have been following the Elul Tools in order, we have been involved in the ancient tradition of Chesbon Hanefesh, Jewish soul searching. Now that we are halfway through Elul already (notice the full moon outside!) we will begin to shift our focus from self-reflection to action. 

For the past two weeks, we have focused on our shortcomings in many areas over the past year. All of us, regardless of age, maturity, knowledge of Judaism, level of spiritual practice have “messed up.” That’s what humans do. The confessional prayers during Yom Kippur make this fact blatant by chanting them in the plural, “WE have sinned.” No one is exempt from making mistakes, causing pain to others. And yet, if our Cheshbon Hanefesh (Jewish accounting of the soul) includes only our failings, without the successes, we don’t have the whole picture. So while up until now we have largely reflected on how our arrows completely missed the target, the focus for today is remembering our “Bulls Eyes” over the past year.

We have considered our shortcomings in many areas of our lives over the past two weeks, from our most intimate relationships, to our larger communities.  We have zeroed in on the mistreatment of ourselves from our bodies to our souls. 

After contemplating our shortcomings, our mistakes, the damage we may have created in each of these areas, today we focus on success. Recognizing our strengths and accomplishments helps us point our attention where it should be for the new year. We use this image of the the bulls eye to acknowledge where we have been right on target.

Today’s Elul Tool: See yourself as a whole, integrated person. You are capable of making mistakes and causing pain. However, you also perform acts of kindness and repair. Yes you created problems this past year. But consider all they ways you repaired damage and fostered peace. Recall the idea of weighing your actions in Judaism. Balance is important. Tipping toward the side of goodness is ideal. Would you say that your total successes and failures balanced out this year? Is the amount of disturbance you created equal to the amount of peace you created? Contemplate your inner scale in regard to all the various realms of your life. Is there one particular area that needs attention? How can you tip the scale toward more connection, repair, and growth in the year ahead? Did you hit any bulls eyes this year? If so, take a moment to acknowledge that accomplishment.

Psalm 27

It is customary to read Psalm 27 twice daily during Elul.

Here is an online version of Psalm 27 for easy access. 

For Families and Kids!

Junior Tool Box: Discuss the symbol of the target with your children. Include the ideas of “Missing the Mark” and “Hitting Bulls Eyes” to talk about strengths and weaknesses over the past year.

Discuss how to prepare for next year like an Archer, putting intense focus on what to improve, how to hit the Bull’s Eye!

For a tangible visual of this idea, draw a large target (or use the one below). Fill in the target with this year’s “hits” and “misses.”

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _